Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
