Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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