really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
