My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize