It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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