You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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