***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
