I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
