break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
