after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
