the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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