if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
