I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
