Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
