after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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