I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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