Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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