I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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