remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
