i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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