Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
