Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
