I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
