i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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