Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
