we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
