What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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