White coat. Heels.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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