Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
