Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
