I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
