It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
