My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize