I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
