Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So much rum. So many feels.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
