All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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