I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
