You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
