ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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