My hand turned me down
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
