oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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