apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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