Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
