what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
