i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
