if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
