He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize