I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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