$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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