3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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