yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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