I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
