She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
