please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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