At least make sure they are 18
Why
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm getting married
To pizza
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
