Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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