I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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