I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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